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What to Do When Children Experience Abuse?

Abuse in close settings negatively affects the development of children and has long-term consequences for their behaviour. Minors cannot choose a healthier environment or live independently, so adults must ensure a fulfilling childhood and protection from abuse. If ignored, abuse continues, and the child is at an increasing risk.

Abuse Against Children

Types of Abuse Against Children:

  • Physical abuse is the intentional infliction of physical pain on a child or attempting to do so. This includes hitting with hands or objects, pushing, pulling by the hair, tripping the child so they fall, kicking, burning, biting, forcing hard physical labour, and applying physical punishment in these ways.
  • Sexual abuse is the exploitation of a person under 16 years old for sexual purposes. This includes showing sexually explicit text, images, or films to the child, involving the child in pornography or prostitution, forcing the child to view an adult’s genitals or expose their own, engaging in vaginal, anal, or oral sex, inserting objects into genital areas, touching to satisfy sexual desire (kissing, stroking, touching, etc.), and forcing the child to perform these actions.
  • Psychological abuse is the intentional, systematic harm of a child’s emotional state: bullying, shouting, belittling the child’s achievements, desires, or hobbies, ignoring, threatening physical force, limiting social activities (banning participation in events, interaction with others, attending clubs), other controlling behaviours, and inconsistent parenting.
  • Neglect is the failure to meet the basic physical, emotional, and social needs of a child. This includes neglecting their diet and abnormal weight, hygiene, chronic illness, dental treatment, allowing the use of alcohol, tobacco, or drugs, insufficient attention to the child’s emotional well-being, limiting their education, such as preventing school attendance.

If one parent abuses the other, the child witnessing the abuse is also considered a victim. When a child is forced to witness the abuse of a loved one, their behaviour may change to reflect that of a child directly experiencing abuse. The child senses tension in the home, and the anxiety and pain of the abused adult are transferred to the child, while the abuser teaches the child that problems should be solved through violence. Therefore, even if the child is not physically abused and does not experience sexual abuse, the effects of psychological abuse are inevitable. Moreover, physical abuse directed at an adult in the home is a sign that abuse may eventually be directed at the child.

How to Recognise if a Child is Being Abused?

Sometimes doctors, teachers, and other adults working with children are the only ones who can recognise the signs of abuse. For example, preschool educators have a unique opportunity to observe a child’s interaction with their peers and developmental patterns that a family doctor or dentist might not notice during a short visit.

Not all cases of abuse are the same, and sometimes the most apparent signs are physical symptoms, while in other cases, psychological symptoms are more visible. It is worth considering in advance what to pay attention to as a specialist. If you notice any signs of behavioural, appearance, or health issues in a child that could have been caused by abuse in a close setting, you should act proactively. The child may be more willing to confide in you than in their family members or others. Record the concerning behaviour, marks on the body, other external signs, and everything the child tells you, in detail.

It is important to formulate questions according to the child’s age and maturity, so that the answers can either confirm or deny your suspicions about the child’s condition. Preschool children and primary school pupils may not have the vocabulary to talk about abuse and may not understand it, so avoiding complex terms and keeping questions simple and clear is important. Open-ended questions, to which the child cannot respond with a “yes” or “no,” work best to gain the child’s trust and encourage them to speak. Details can be clarified with closed questions. You can start by not revealing that something has caused your concern; for example, asking about food and the meals eaten at home may indicate that the parents are not taking care of the child.

  • It seems that you don’t want to go home. Why?
  • I noticed you have a large bruise on your arm. Tell me how it got there.
  • Sometimes adults ask children to do things they don’t want to do. What do you think about that?
  • I saw some stains on your underwear. How do you think they got there?
  • Has anyone ever asked you to do something unpleasant, something you didn’t want to do?
  • Can you tell me what you usually have for dinner?
  • When was the last time you ate?
  • What do your parents do if you don’t listen to them?

You can also ask the adult accompanying the child about the situation at home, but not the suspected abuser. In this case, ensure that the information is not recorded in documents accessible to the abuser.

If it is found that a child is being abused, it is crucial to immediately report it to the police or the State Child Rights Protection and Adoption Service.

Signs that a child may be experiencing abuse at home include:

Physical and other external signs Behavioural signs
Physical abuse
  • scratches, bleeding cuts;
  • bruises on the buttocks, sides, hands, stomach, feet, in the mouth, around the eyes, ears, eyes;
  • marks on the body from ropes, wires, teeth, or other unusual items that could not be caused by accidents;
  • pain in specific body parts;
  • psychosomatic disorders (persistent headaches, stomach aches, urinary problems).
  • fear, anxiety;
  • sleep disorders, nightmares;
  • low self-esteem;
  • learning difficulties;
  • depression symptoms;
  • aggressive behaviour, tendency to bully others and get into physical fights;
  • damaging property;
  • excessively obedient behaviour;
  • fear of a specific person;
  • fear of separation;
  • thoughts or speech about suicide;
  • early sexual activity.
Sexual abuse
  • marks and cuts in intimate areas;
  • suffering from sexually transmitted diseases;
  • pregnancy;
  • unexplained bleeding from genital organs or the anus
  • swelling, pain, itching in the genital area and discharge from it;
  • painful urination;
  • wounds in the mouth and on the lips.
  • sexual acts during play;
  • sexual drawings;
  • sexual language or gestures;
  • age-inappropriate knowledge about sexual life;
  • talking about experiencing sexual abuse;
  • fear of people of one specific sex or a specific individual;
  • sexually aggressive behaviour;
  • demonstration of one’s own naked body to others;
  • seeking physical contact with adults;
  • signs of psychological abuse;
  • early sexual activity.
Psychological abuse
  • psychosomatic disorders (persistent headaches, stomach aches, urinary problems, etc.).
  • apathy, reluctance to engage in activities typical for children;
  • avoiding contact with other children, social isolation;
  • low self-esteem;
  • learning difficulties;
  • developmental delays;
  • thoughts or speech about suicide;
  • self-harm;
  • fear, anxiety;
  • constant bad mood;
  • aggressive behaviour, tendency to bully others and get into physical fights;
  • overly sensitive response to surroundings;
  • complaints about bullying;
  • appetite problems;
  • early sexual activity.
Neglect
  • inappropriate clothing;
  • unchanged full nappies;
  • delayed physical development;
  • dirty, torn clothes, long nails, dirty ears, oily hair, overall dirty appearance;
  • many decayed teeth;
  • frequent illnesses.
  • constant hunger;
  • delayed emotional and psychological development;
  • constant lack of sleep;
  • frequent absence from school;
  • stealing;
  • lack of hygiene skills;
  • early sexual activity;
  • drug use.

 

What to Do if You Suspect Your Child is Experiencing Abuse?

If you suspect that a family member, relative, or other person is abusing your child, you should try to talk to the child face-to-face. It is important to do this in a safe place where the suspected abuser cannot hear or see you. Remember to write everything down or record it on your phone. The child may not yet understand what psychological abuse, physical, or sexual violence is, so avoid using complex words, and remain patient if you don’t get an answer right away. Maintain mutual trust, show the child that they can trust you, and that you are ready to protect them.

Questions you can ask:

  • Is everything okay?
  • What happened?
  • Are you afraid to tell me anything? You can share anything with me.
  • Has anyone asked you to keep something a secret from me?
  • Has anyone touched you in a strange or unpleasant way when I wasn’t around?
  • Has a person who takes care of you ever hurt you?

If you find out that your child is being abused by another adult, first ensure the safety of yourself and your child, and only then call emergency services at 112.