SEXIST LANGUAGE
Physical violence (as well as psychological, economic, and sexual violence) often occurs behind closed doors. Gender-based violence frequently begins with sexist remarks and jokes that demean women, making it essential to respond appropriately to such behaviour. While many people disapprove of degrading jokes and comments, they may feel unsure or hesitant about how to react. Here are some tips on how to address this issue in the workplace, among family, or in social circles:
- Assess whether the remark or joke is sexist. Consider these points:
- is it meant to demean women (but not men)?
- does it infringe on women’s (but not men’s) freedom of expression or behaviour?
- could it contribute to undermining women?
- does it equally apply to both women and men?
- Respond indirectly. Sometimes, confronting a sexist remark directly may feel difficult or ineffective. In such cases, you can react subtly:
- “Wow!”, “Ew.”, or “Seriously?”
- “Let’s not stoop to that level.”
- “Now that we’re done with sexist talk, can we move on to something else?”
- Prevent sexist remarks before they occur. Sexist jokes or comments are often prefaced with:
- “Not to be sexist, but…”
- “Some might say this is demeaning to women, but…”
If you hear such phrases, try to redirect the conversation or express disapproval:
- “If you think this might offend women, maybe just don’t say it.”
- “Go ahead, and I’ll tell you why it’s unacceptable.”
- “Perhaps we should discuss why sexist comments are harmful to women before you continue?”, etc.
- Respond directly. A direct response requires courage and should be clear, concise, and, ideally, brief. Examples include:
- “Do you really think that?”
- “What are you getting at?”
- “I find this uncomfortable to hear.”
- “I’m sure you didn’t intend to, but that comment is demeaning to women.”
- “I don’t find this funny at all.”
- “Would you want someone to say that about your mother, wife, or daughter?”
- “That’s degrading to women, was that your intention?”
- “Wow! I didn’t know you felt that way about women.” etc.
If sexist remarks persist, express your expectations for what you want and no longer want to hear. If you’ve already expressed that remarks or jokes that are demeaning to women are unacceptable to you, but they continue, try firmly stating that you don’t want to hear such comments when you’re around.
Remember: the most important thing is to react. Silence can be interpreted as approval.
